North Star Mental Fitness

Mental Fitness and Childhood

Dad and Mental Fitness may seem like a strange combination.  To me they are intimately connected.  My Dad taught me me a lot about life, love, giving, and success

I was raised after the great depression.  As a child I experienced the victory at the end of World War II.  I recall the rationing of gas, food stamps, and no or limited food in stores.

Above all, I remember what my Dad taught me about life and success.   

Survival of the fit and mental fitness

Through out the animal kingdom, survival of the fit prevails. Animals as well as humans survive as the result of instinct, good parenting and learning.

What is the motive directing survival behavior in animals? Is the instinctual motive "I want to take care of me"?

What is the motive of the human infant as the infant learns to sit up, crawl, and eventually walk? Are the infant's developmental accomplishments demonstrating the unconscious motive, "I want to take care of me"?

If the infant's growth and development mirrors the motive "I want to take care of me," what happens to this motive as people mature. Why are so many people unaware of the importance of this motive for survival and also for having a meaningful, satisfying life?

• Does the socialization process destroy the passion and motivation generated by the motive "I want to take care of me"?
• Are we over socializing and over-controlling our children, so they feel guilty about being themselves and pursuing their dreams?
• Are we teaching our children to take care of others instead of themselves?
• Are we teaching our children to want and expect others to take care of them?

Are we doing a good job of teaching our children to survive and thrive in a world of terror, expanded horizons and competing values?

Remember, You Live in the Environment Created by Your Choices!

Dr. Hal

Life and Mental Fitness Coach

Self care is taking care of me!

The motive "I want to take care of me" is the North Star inside of you. Unfortunately, many people are not aware of this motive.

For many people the motive sounds selfish. Are you selfish, if you fill your car's gas tank at a self-serve gas station?

No, you are not selfish if you have the money and can fill your gas tank.

Similarly, you are not selfish, if you make decisions to take care of you.

• You are not selfish, when you satisfy your wants and needs.
• You are not selfish, when you have a balanced life.
• You are not selfish, when you successfully accomplish your goals and live your dreams.
• You are not selfish, when you live your values.
• You are not selfish, when you have fun in your life.
• You are not selfish, when you have sensitive and satisfying relationships.

Let the motive, "I want to take care of me," be your North Star. Let the motive "I want to take care of me" ground you and give you a clear, dependable, guiding light for your life.

Remember, You Live in the Environment Created by Your Choices!

Dr. Hal

Life and Mental Fitness Coach

North Star and Mental Fitness

What is your North Star? What keeps you on course in your life? What is your guiding light? What keeps you focused?

When life is difficult, discouraging and challenging, how do you keep motivated? Do you turn to religion, science, family, friends, activities, substances for direction and for a feeling of well being?

Have religion, science, family, friends, activities, and substances become your North Star?

Is your North Star inside or outside of you?

Religion, science, family, friends, activities, and healthy substances can bring meaning and satisfaction to your life. As long as these influences are outside of you, you are following the wrong North Star.

There has to be a North Star inside of you to keep you on target for integrating all of these influences into your life in a healthy and meaningful way.

What is your inside North Star. Our suggestion for your inside North Star can be viewed and discovered at northstarmentalfitness.com.

Remember, You Live in the Environment Created by Your Choices!

Dr. Hal

Life and Mental Fitness Coach

Have you found your North Star to enlighten your way in life?

If you have not found your North Star, have you been looking and searching in wrong places?  Have you looked inside or outside of yourself to find your North Star?

With the North Star Mental Fitness Program you can find and create the North Star inside of you.

Griffin Wins the Heisman

Robert Griffin III won the Heisman!

He not only won the Heisman, he deserved to win the Heisman on the basis of his accomplishments.  The award was not taken away from him, because he was not the best athlete on the best team.  The Heisman voters elected Griffin on the basis of his achievements rather than affiliations.

From a mental fitness perspective, Robert Griffith III is a living example of a person who has been motivated to achieve and excel at all levels of competition.  He has maintained the ability to focus and achieve amazing feats.  He has not rested on his laurels and drifted into mediocrity.  He has overcome adversity.  He has justly received the Heisman.

The following information in regard to Robert Griffin is from the Boston Globe.com.

"He epitomizes everything you have to be to become a complete player on and off the field and that's why he's a finalist," Baylor coach Art Briles said.

Griffin, a fourth-year junior, holds or shares 46 school records.

By time Griffin played his first game for the Bears in 2008, when at 18 he was the nation's youngest FBS starting quarterback and weighed only about 190 pounds, he was already a Big 12 champion and NCAA All-American in the 400-meter hurdles. He graduated from high school near the top of his class before enrolling at Baylor for the spring semester.

"Coach Briles told me he's not a prophet, but he did say that in two or three years, I'd be a Heisman Trophy finalist," Griffin said. "And it's coming true."

Griffin set an FBS record by throwing 209 passes to start his career before his first interception.

Only three games into the 2009 season, Griffin tore the ACL in his right knee. He got a medical hardship redshirt and then in his comeback last year led the Bears to their first Top 25 ranking since 1993 and a bowl game.

"Robert has become for many football fans the face of Baylor University," athletic director Ian McCaw said. "He's a model student-athlete. ... He basically was a 17-year-old when he came here, and he's a man now."  This ends the quotations from the Boston Globe.com.

Remember, We Live within the Environment Created by Our Choices!

Dr. Hal

Life and Mental Fitness Coach

Gratitude Replaces Anger

I talked to a man who is a recovering alcoholic. He has been a very angry man. Anger from childhood spilled over into his adult relationships. He was angry over being raised by an alcoholic father. He has spent his whole life being angry over what is not there.

He has been angry over what is not there with his father, wife, family and friends. It became very clear to him as well as to me that he needed recovery from his anger as well as from his alcoholism. He has become painfully aware that his anger has alienated him from everyone. He and his wife are separated, but reconciling.

I asked him to write a letter to his deceased father. He was surprised by what he wrote in the letter. He admitted that he has walked a similar path; the path of alcoholism. He admitted that both of them hurt the ones they love, because of their alcoholism.

In his letter to his father, he did not focus on his anger over what was not there. Instead he surprised himself by writing how much he loved his father and how much he wished that his father would've had a happier life without alcohol.

Then he wrote how grateful he was for his father's sacrifices in supporting the family. He had not been aware of the positives provided by his father. He was able to verbalize how grateful he was for his father in spite of his father's alcoholism. He was able to verbalize that he was "proud" of his father.

I have shared this life experiences with you for the following reason. I wanted to ask the question.

Are you angry over what is not there rather than being grateful for what is there in your relationships and life!

Remember, We Live within the Environment Created by Our Choice!

Dr. Hal

Life and Life and Mental Fitness Coach

What Are the Basics of Mental Fitness?

Politicians! As I read and listen to news commentaries, I wondered to myself if our politicians are mentally fit? Are they taking care of business? Are they more interested in pleasing their special interest groups to the detriment of the country? Since I was contemplating these issues, I decided to post what I think are some of the basics of mental fitness.

The basics of mental fitness from my book, I Live within the Environment Created by My Choices.

THE BASICS OF MENTAL FITNESS

1. I Live within the environment created by my choices.

2. I focus on taking care of me, now.

3. Where I want freedom from the past, I will make new choices.

4. I accept my choices as powerful and realize the content of my choices makes me powerful or powerless .

5. I accept my freedom to make or not make choices.

6. When I make a new choice, it may feel wrong and uncomfortable.

7. I accept the momentary frustrations necessary to care for me.

8. I accept my humanness and "messing up".

9. I accept and experience my higher power.

10. I belong and I actively commit myself to my family, friends, work, community and country.

11. I have quality and balance in my logical, emotional and self-parenting decision-making.

12. Success is making choice to actualize my dreams, achieve my goals and take care of myself so I have freedom, happiness, peace of mind and power over my life.

13. I do what is necessary to be successful and take care of me.

14. I claim my successes and experience the benefits of success which are freedom, happiness, peace of mind and power over my life.

15. I accept others' opinions as separate from me and I will not allow the opinions of others to deprive me from feeling good about my successes.

16. I live in the present: the place of freedom, happiness, peace of mind and power over my life.

It is important for all of us to decide if we and our our politicians are mentally fit! Are our polit Oans making decisions that are best for taking care of our country? Are our politicians applying the principles of mental fitness in running our country?

Remember, We Live within the Environment Created by Our Choices!

Dr. Hal

Life and Mental Fitness Coach

 

MAKE CHILD'S CHOICES OR YOU WILL MESS UP!

THE CHILD CHOICES and the criteria for “messing up” are similar.  Both “messing up” and THE CHILD CHOICES are emotional, irrational and have no concern for possible consequences.  Impulsive or unconsciously determined CHILD CHOICES can result in “messing up”.  “Messing up” such as addictions, criminal activities, relationship conflicts, refusal to care for health and all the other ways people “mess up” are similar to CHILD CHOICES.  Both CHILD CHOICES and “messing up” are highly emotional, irrational and not concerned about consequences.   

Although “messing up” and CHILD CHOICES are similar in their make-up, CHILD CHOICES should not be equated with “messing up”. 

Are You Prepared for Life without Success?

What defines you?  Are you defined by your successes, failures or roles in your life?  If you define yourself by your successes, what happens when you are no longer capable of being successful?

Are You Prepared for Life without Success?

Let us take mothers for example.  How many women define themselves as mothers for many years during the parenting time of their lives.  Then comes the empty nest.  Many mothers have difficulty with the empty nest, because they have identified themselves as  "mother".  They have not prepared themselves for life without mothering.

We could also think about the successful athlete, entertainer or artist who could be easily tempted to define themselves by their successes.  If a successful athlete's identity is determined by their accomplishments in the world of sports, what happens to them when they no longer are able to engage in their sport.  Are they prepared for life without their success?

Lately I've been aware of married people, who lost their partners.  Some of them have not been prepared for life without their partner.

Everyday there are people who are losing, retiring or changing their jobs.  Some of these people are not prepared to deal with life without their vocational identity.

We could even consider those who are struggling with illnesses.  Many people are not prepared for dealing with life once their health deterioraes. 

We will define ourselves differently and we certainly will defines success differently. 

I read a very interesting article by Eric Adelson on Greg Harden.  Mr. Harden has been like a Life Coach behind the scenes at the University of Michigan.  He has helped professional athletes such as Tom Brady navigate through the difficult times in their lives.  He has taught them to focus in on what they can control and achieve in their lives.  He also has prepared them for life without sports.

Eric wrote "That’s really the essence of what Harden does: he prepares athletes for a life without athletic success. Because eventually, athletic success will end. So Harden challenges athletes to gauge their worth without relying on plays or stats or wins."

I ask you the question:

 Are You Prepared for Life without Success?

Remember, We Live within the Lives Created by Our Choices!

Dr. Hal

Life and Mental Fitness Coach