North Star Mental Fitness

Waiting for the Perfect Time

"Perfect times"; waiting for "perfect times" was the driving theme in his life. 

He was a muscular man.  For over 40 years he has been a body builder. He was a hard working, retired factory worker.  For forty years he labored in the factory, looking forward to the "perfect times" of retirement.  Now, he has been retired for over one year.

Looking back over his career and retirement, he became angry.

"I was waiting for the perfect time.  It never came."

60,000 Thoughts a Day

How many thoughts to you have on a daily basis?  According to Possibility Coaches, we have approximately 60,000 thoughts a day.

That is a lot of thoughts.  Out of your 60,000 thoughts yesterday, how many of them were determined by your conscious mind?  Did you purposely choose to change a thought or make a new thought?  Did you question any of your thoughts?  Did you decide that any of your thoughts were wrong or lies? 

Did you consciously began to think differently than in the past, because you want to change your life?  Did you consciously decide to frequently repeat thoughts in order to change the quality of your life including how you feel?

These questions are extremely important for you to consider and answer.  Most of our thoughts are automatic and not consciously created by us.  Unfortunately many of our thoughts are determined by past disappointments, fears, anxieties, painful issues and unsolved problems.  As a result, we frequently have automatic negative thoughts that control our mind and destroy our well-being.  Because we are so gullible to our own thinking, we accept our thinking as true even when it is not.

I urge you to interrupt the repetitive pattern of absorbing the same worn-out thoughts as true.  You do not have to be a prisoner to your own thinking.

If you want freedom, happiness, peace of mind and control of your life, then it is mandatory that you consciously take control of your thinking!

How you think will determine how you feel, act, and relate.  How you think will determine the quality and destiny of your life.  True mental fitness is determined by consciously interrupting the pattern of automatic thinking and consciously thinking thoughts that will provide you with a window of opportunity to be the person you really want to be.

Remember, We Live within the Lives Created by Our Choices!

Dr. Hal

Life and Mental Fitness Coach

Jobs on Choices

What made Stephen Jobs so successful?  One of Mr. Job's friends, Dr. Dean Ornish, shared the answer.  There is no doubt that Mr. Jobs knew the secret of mental fitness and success.  The secret of Mr. Job's success is

Gratitude Replaces Anger

I talked to a man who is a recovering alcoholic. He has been a very angry man. Anger from childhood spilled over into his adult relationships. He was angry over being raised by an alcoholic father. He has spent his whole life being angry over what is not there.

He has been angry over what is not there with his father, wife, family and friends. It became very clear to him as well as to me that he needed recovery from his anger as well as from his alcoholism. He has become painfully aware that his anger has alienated him from everyone. He and his wife are separated, but reconciling.

I asked him to write a letter to his deceased father. He was surprised by what he wrote in the letter. He admitted that he has walked a similar path; the path of alcoholism. He admitted that both of them hurt the ones they love, because of their alcoholism.

In his letter to his father, he did not focus on his anger over what was not there. Instead he surprised himself by writing how much he loved his father and how much he wished that his father would've had a happier life without alcohol.

Then he wrote how grateful he was for his father's sacrifices in supporting the family. He had not been aware of the positives provided by his father. He was able to verbalize how grateful he was for his father in spite of his father's alcoholism. He was able to verbalize that he was "proud" of his father.

I have shared this life experiences with you for the following reason. I wanted to ask the question.

Are you angry over what is not there rather than being grateful for what is there in your relationships and life!

Remember, We Live within the Environment Created by Our Choice!

Dr. Hal

Life and Life and Mental Fitness Coach

9/11 Hero

William Rodriguez is a Puerto Rican and an American citizen for 19 years. He was employed at the World Trade Center. In his position, he was the only person on site with the master key to unlock the floors in the North Tower.

William Rodriguez was in the North Tower on 911. He escaped with his life. Istead of being satisfied with escaping the attack, he re-entered the North Tower three times. He saved 15 people. H still was not through with his mission.

He led firefighters of the stairway of the North Tower. As they ascended, he continued to unlock the doors. Hundreds of trapped, frightened and hopeless individuals were released and rescued because of his efforts .

I believe that William Rodriguez is a living example of a man with great mental fitness and courage. To read more about William Rodriguez, I refer you to heavenlystrength to read more about William.

William risked his life to save many. Because of the attack, he lost his job and was homeless. In spite of all this adversity, he has remained focused on helping survivors of 9/11.

Let us think of William Rodriguezand and many like him at this time of the year. Let us realize that we too will have opportunities to express our mental fitness and courage. Our opportunities may not be as heroic and dramatic, but they will still be very important and life forming.

Remember We Live within the Environment Created by Our Choices!

Dr. Hal

Life and Mental Fitness Coach

The Tea Party

The original Boston Tea Party was on December 16, 1773. A group of Massachusetts Patriots, protested the monopoly on American tea importation granted by Parliament to the East India Company. The members of the Boston tea party seized 342 chests of tea in a midnight raid on three tea ships and threw them into the harbor.

Once again, the Tea Party has become an important force in American politics. Today, I do not want to look at the Tea Party from a political perspective. Instead, let us look at the Tea Party from the perspective of mental fitness.

From this perspective, the tea party is an exciting group of individuals, who are working together to achieve their mutual goals. The essence of mental fitness is focusing and actively taking care of oneself in all areas of our lives.

The Tea Party is not depending on politicians or the President to make their lives better.

The Tea Part members are focused on taking care of themselves through becoming genuinely and actively committed to change the politics in our country.

Tea Party members are living in the present and not immobilized by the past .

Tea Party members remained focused in spite of the negativity of the press and the ridicule of the current American ruling class.

The Tea Party members are willing to accept the frustrations necessary to achieve their goals.

The Tea Party members know that happiness, freedom, piece of mind and control of their lives is dependent on their efforts and will be destroyed by being apathetic or dependent upon our current government and politicians.

The Tea Party members get It from a mental fitness perspective .

They sense the urgency and necessity of actively committing to changing our government so that people can self-actualize and pursue their dreams.

Remember, We Live within the Government Created by Our Choices or Our Failure to Make Choices!

Dr. Hal

Life and Mental Fitness Coach

What Are the Basics of Mental Fitness?

Politicians! As I read and listen to news commentaries, I wondered to myself if our politicians are mentally fit? Are they taking care of business? Are they more interested in pleasing their special interest groups to the detriment of the country? Since I was contemplating these issues, I decided to post what I think are some of the basics of mental fitness.

The basics of mental fitness from my book, I Live within the Environment Created by My Choices.

THE BASICS OF MENTAL FITNESS

1. I Live within the environment created by my choices.

2. I focus on taking care of me, now.

3. Where I want freedom from the past, I will make new choices.

4. I accept my choices as powerful and realize the content of my choices makes me powerful or powerless .

5. I accept my freedom to make or not make choices.

6. When I make a new choice, it may feel wrong and uncomfortable.

7. I accept the momentary frustrations necessary to care for me.

8. I accept my humanness and "messing up".

9. I accept and experience my higher power.

10. I belong and I actively commit myself to my family, friends, work, community and country.

11. I have quality and balance in my logical, emotional and self-parenting decision-making.

12. Success is making choice to actualize my dreams, achieve my goals and take care of myself so I have freedom, happiness, peace of mind and power over my life.

13. I do what is necessary to be successful and take care of me.

14. I claim my successes and experience the benefits of success which are freedom, happiness, peace of mind and power over my life.

15. I accept others' opinions as separate from me and I will not allow the opinions of others to deprive me from feeling good about my successes.

16. I live in the present: the place of freedom, happiness, peace of mind and power over my life.

It is important for all of us to decide if we and our our politicians are mentally fit! Are our polit Oans making decisions that are best for taking care of our country? Are our politicians applying the principles of mental fitness in running our country?

Remember, We Live within the Environment Created by Our Choices!

Dr. Hal

Life and Mental Fitness Coach

 

How to Tame Your Anxiety

Anxiety can be managed effectively by learning to think about it differently than most people do. Most people think of anxiety and panic as a psychiatric symptom that can greatly limit one's life and evedn destroy the quality of one's life.

It is very possible to take the fear and panic of anxiety by changing how you think.

If you understand the basic information about a car, you have the ability to overcome anxiety.

Both cars and people can be anywhere from empty to full. We all know that when a car gauge goes over to empty, it is time to refuel. We know that it is normal for a car to be anywhere from empty to full. A car is not broken, when it goes towards empty.

We also know that the car gauge has a signal, so we know when the car needs gas. We trust the signal. We recognize the signal. We don't analyze the signal or think the car is broken. We automatically "read" the signal and put in some gas.

People can be anywhere from empty to full. We are empty, when we don't have what we want or need or we need to take some constructive action in our lives. We are full, when we are satisfied and have made good decisions to take care of ourselves.

Anxiety and panic can be our signals, when we are empty. If you look at anxiety and panic as signals, then you can choose to accept the signal and figure out what you want, need or need to do for yourself.

Once you have satisfied you wants, needs or taken constructive actions to take care of yourself, you will be satisfied and the anxiety signal will go away.

We can learn to recognize and accept signals of anxiety as normal. It is important to think of anxiety as a signal rather than a problem or an illness.

You can take control of your anxiety and welcome your anxiety by learning to think about it as a signal .

Remember, You Live within the Body and Environment Created by Your Choices!

Dr. Hal

Life and Mental Fitness Coach

20 Acceptance Quotations

Acceptance is one of the hardest things to do.  Acceptance will be one of the most powerful and empowering decisions you'll ever make for yourself.  Here are 20 acceptance quotations for your enjoyment.

1.  "Our entire life consists ultimately of accepting ourselves as we are" from Jane Anoulth.

2.  "We cannot change anything until we accept it.  Condemnation does not liberate, it oppresses " from C. G. Jung.

3.  "Acceptance of what has happened is the first step to overcoming the consequences of any misfortune" by William James.

4.  "Serenity comes when you trade expectations for acceptance" by an unknown author.

5   "Acceptance is not submission; it is acknowledgment of the facts of a situation.  Then deciding which are going to do about it" from Kathleen Casey Theisen.

6.  "Everything in life that we really accept undergoes a change" by Katherine Mansfield.

7.  "Once we accept our limits, we go beyond them" by Brendan Francis.

8. "You have to accept whatever comes and the only important thing is that you meet it with courage and with the best that you have to give" by Eleanor Roosevelt.

9. "The first step towards change his awareness.  The second step is acceptance."  This quotation from Nathaniel Branden.

10  "The quickest way to change your attitude towards pain is to accept the fact that everything that happens to us has been designed for spiritual growth" by M. Scott Peck.

11. "Happiness can exist only in acceptance" by Denis De Rougemont.

12. "The most terrifying thing is to accept oneself completely" from Carl Gustaf June.

13. "Accept your genius and say what you think" by Ralph Waldo Emerson. 

14.  "Accept everything about yourself-I mean everything, you are you and that is the beginning and the end-no apologies, no regrets" by Clark Moustakas.

15. "Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect.  It means that you have decided to look beyond the imperfections" from an unknown writer. 

16.  "When you find peace within yourself, you become the kind of person who can live in peace with others" from Peace Pilgrim.

17.  "Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves-regret for the past and fear for the future" by Fulton Oursler.

18.  A friend is someone who understands your past, believes in your future, and accepts you just the way you are" from an unknown author. 

19.  "Out beyod ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field.  I will meet you there" by Jal-ad Din Rumi.

20.  "Accept good advice gracefully-as long as it doesn't interfere with what you intended to do in the first place" by Gene Brown.

I hope that these quotations on acceptance will be acceptable for you and lead to greater acceptance in your life. 

 Remember, We Live within Environment Created by Our Choices!

Dr. Hal

Life and Mental Fitness Coach

 

Faith Triumphed over Doubt-A Relationship Makeover

His transformation was unbelievable.  He appeared with his smiling wife and proclaimed that he has faith.  I was in shock.  I could hardly process what he was saying.

This is a man who had been relentlessly questioning and checking up on his wife.  He was consumed with doubt, insecurity and a lack of trust toward his wife.  He was compulsively trying to find out what was wrong with his wife.

As a psychologist, I believe what people think about their relationships creates the nature and quality of their relationships.  I was witnessing what I believe and the shift in his thinking was almost too great for me to comprehend.  I was witnessing a relationship makeover.

I was expecting a man who was compulsively lacking faith and trust in his wife.  Now, he kept saying that he has faith.  After he left, I realized I had seen a miracle generated by his change of mindset.  I went to the Internet to find the definition of faith.

According to thefreedictionary.com, faith was defined as "confident belief in the truth, value or trustworthiness of a person, idea or thing.  Belief that does not rest on logical proof or material evidence."

After reading that definition, I got it!

He chose to have a confident belief in the trustworthiness of his wife!  He chose to not pursue logical proof or material evidence that could prove or not prove that his wife was trustworthy.  I believe that his new attitude and thought process will transform his relationship with his wife and psychological well-being. 

All of us can reduce conflicts in our relationships, by choosing to have a "confident belief in the truth, value and trustworthiness" of our significant others! 

Plant this thought in your mind; nourish it with contemplation; feel it; and it will grow and flourish in your mind and relationships.

Remember, We Live within the Relationships Created by Our Choices!

Dr. Hal

Life and Mental Fitness Coach