From a sociological perspective, more and more grandparents are spending their golden years taking care of their grandchildren. In many societies, grand parenting is a vital part of the family structure. In our highly mobile society, grandparents are not involved within the family structure. In our highly disposable society, grandparents may also become disposable.
At least, sometimes, grandparents feel as if there is an expiration date on their relationship with their grandchildren. Grandparents may feel insecure in their place within the family structure. They may question their importance. Some grandparents are fearful of over-extending their boundaries and fearful of self-actualizing in their role as a grandparent.
In the last few weeks, I've been talking to a man who has been extremely concerned about his grandson. This grandfather had bonded with his grandson and now does not have any contact with his grandson. This grandfather made a very difficult decision. His daughter was abusing drugs. He confronted his daughter. Since she was resistant to entering substance abuse treatment, he asked her to leave his home. She took her son and has refused any contact between her son and the grandfather.
I have also been talking to a man who has been a wife's nightmare. He has been a serial cheater. Analysis of his childhood indicated that he was always fearful of his mother removing him from his grandmother. He perceived his grandmother as loving him. He became fearful of forming close relationships. His wife became like his grandmother. He knew his wife loved him. Whenever there was potential conflict, he ran away from his wife into another relationship.
As I thought about these two men, I began thinking about the importance of grand parenting. Grand parenting can provide psychological security, love, values and stability for grandchildren. Grand parenting can definitely assist parents in raising their children.
I ask you, how important is grand parenting in your family? Is it important for you to have grandparents play a crucial role in raising your children? It is important for your children's grandparents to feel secure, spontaneous and free to be themselves with your children?Remember, We Live WIthin the Families Created by Our Choices!
Life and Mental Fitness Coach