There's a Mental Fitness Solution for Every Problem!
If you're fit in your head, you can deal with anything!
The main purpose of the mental fitness program and coaching is to take you where you can't get by yourself!
John Gray wrote Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus. In this book he emphasized that men and women differ in all aspects of their lives. Dr. Gray emphasized that in all aspects of human experience including thinking, feeling, perceiving and relating men and women are different.
Bjorn Carey LiveScience Staff Writer wrote about a research article in Life Science, Men and Women Really Do Think Differently. Primarily the brain is made up of two types of tissue. The two types of tissue are called white and gray matter. Research shows that men think more with gray matter and women think more with white matter. Even though men and women think differently, both men and women function well intellectually.
University of California, Irvine psychologist Richard Haier and colleagues from the University of New Mexico studied matters related to the brain. Men have 6.5 times the amount of gray matter related to general intelligence in comparison with women. Women were not to be outdone, however. Women had almost 10 times as much white matter related to general intelligence in comparison with men.
These findings seem to confirm that human evolution has created sexually different types of brains for "equally intelligent behavior". Mr. Carey explained "in the human brain, gray matter represents information processing centers, whereas white matter works to network these processing centers". These results partially explain why men do better on activities such as working with mathematics, while women are better with language skills.
Another interesting finding was related to the location of white and gray matter. For women, 84% of gray matter and 86% of white matter involving intellectual functioning are in the frontal lobe. For men, 45% of their gray matter and 0% of their white matter are in the frontal lobe. These findings explain why frontal lobe damage is much more destructive to women's intellectual functioning than for men.
Although there is evidence that men and women do think differently, the researchers emphasized men and women function equally well on intelligence tests and other cognitive tasks.
"Jim Abbott was born without fingers on his right hand, but it never stopped him from fulfilling his dreams-dreams far out of the reach of most people" wrote John U. Bacon in Michigan Today.
"Lucky Man" was the title of John U. Bacon's article on Jim Abbott. I'm sure most people would not describe a person with no fingers on the right hand as lucky. It wasn't what Jim Abbott accomplished in spite of his disability that probably led Mr. Bacon to describe Jim Abbott as "lucky". Jim Abbott was lucky because he was able to help so many people and motivate people with and without disabilities.
Let me make it very clear: Jim Abbott is not an example of luck. Quite the contrary, he is an example of hope for people with disabilities who are determined, confident and motivated to succeed. Jim Abbott's accomplishments were because of his mental and physical fitness. Jim Abbott was able to become successful in spite of his disability, when others probably would have given up or probably never would have even tried to be successful.
Even in grade school he never made a big deal out of his disability. He was a pitcher throughout his career. He learned to pitch with his left hand, put his glove on his left hand, catch the ball with his left hand, put his glove under his right arm, let the ball fall into his left hand and throw out a runner. Jim recalled that this was not something he had to master, "it was just something I did".
Jim's accomplishments included:
Pitching for the University of Michigan baseball team,
Big Ten player of the year,
Big Ten male athlete of the year,
Sullivan Award for the nation's best amateur athlete,
Won the Gold Medal game at the 1988 Olympics,
Drafted in the first round by the California Angels,
Pitched a no-hitter against the Yankees,
A 10 year career in the major leagues, and
Retirement of his baseball number at the University of Michigan.
Jim's message: "I want to be remembered not for having to overcome anything, but for making the most of what God gave me. If there wasn't some ability, and with that, some accountability, I'd probably just be remembered solely as the guy who pitched in the majors with no right hand."
Isn't this a message that is good for all of us. Aren't we accountable for doing the most with the abilities we have been given.
Remember when you heard the wedding bells? What expectations do you have for your marriage? You were in love and undoubtedly had expectations for an exciting, passionate and long lasting relationship. Didn't you expect your chosen one to be happy most of the time? Didn't you expect him or her to wake up with a lot of energy and passion, only to be disappointed or frustrated?
Remember, when you had your first job or the job of your dreams? What expectations did you have for your work associates? Didn't you expect them to appreciate your work and validate you as a worker? Weren't you poorly prepared to experience indifference, rejection and criticism from your boss or coworkers?
Remember when you began having children? Remember how excited you were to have your children. Although you may have never consciously thought about it, what expectations did you have for your children? Did youexpect our children to be free from problems, develop normally and do well in all they do? Most of us did not expect our children to have developmental difficulties, learning problems, social problems or behavioral problems.
Most of us have expectations full of the excitement, anticipated happiness and idealism when we begin a new relationship. Oftentimes, our expectations are not realistic and practical. Even after being in relationships for a considerable period of time, our expectations remain unrealistic and as a result we experience unnecessary emotional pain, anger and disappointment.
Our expectations regarding the important people in our lives would become more realistic, practical and functional, if we were to apply our knowledge about the fuel system in a car to our relationships. With a car we know that the car will have times when the gas tank approaches empty and we expect our cars to become empty and give us empty signals on a regular basis. Especially after we had been driving our cars, we expect our cars to become empty.
Do we have the expectation that the important people in our lives will be empty on a regular basis and this is normal? How much better would our relationships become if we expected our significant others to have times of fullness and emptiness on a regular basis?
Our relationships would be much better if we expected our significant others to have signals of emptiness, when they are empty. Most people respond to the signals of emptiness from our significant others as problems, symptoms, personality weaknesses or dysfunctional, learned behavior from one's family of origin.
Signals of emptiness are not problems, symptoms, personality weaknesses or dysfunctional behavior from past relationships! If we mis-read and fail to understand that signals of emptiness are only signals, then these missed signals can result in problems, symptoms, personality weaknesses or dysfunctional behavior.
Wouldn't your relationship with your wife become much better, if you interpreted "nagging", headaches, and irritability as signals of emptiness rather than as criticism, problems and deficiencies in your wife?
Wouldn't your relationship with your husband become much better, if you interpreted his anger, poor listening ability and emotional coldness as signals of emptiness rather than as problems, rejection, insensitivity, and a lack of love?
Wouldn't your relationships with your boss or fellow employees become better, if you interpreted their hostile, insensitive and different responses to you as indicating their signals of emptiness rather than as demeaning or criticizing you?
Wouldn't your relationships with your children improve immensely if you interpreted their problems, defiance, disobedience and emotional instability as signals of emptiness rather than concluding that they are bad, spoiled, ungrateful and self-centered?
Let us focus on accepting the reality of emptiness in our significant others. Let us expect all of our significant others to sometimes be empty and have signals of emptiness. Having appropriate and realistic expectations for our significant others will significantly reduce our conflicts with our significant others. Our significant others will not feel pressured, judged, criticized and demeaned if we change our expectations.
Remember, We Live within the Relationships Created by Our Choices!
If you know how to drive a car, you have all of the psychological tools to have a refreshed self-concept and empowered, satisfying and sensitive relationships. This statement may sound like an over-statement, but it is true.
We all know physical training changes the body. If you lift weights or perform other exercises, your muscles get larger and stronger. Now there are research findings that confirm that cognitive exercises increase the number of receptors for the neurochemical dopamine.
Science Daily had an interesting article entitled "Cognitive Training Can Alter Brain Chemistry of the Mind". The article summarized research from the Swedish medical university Karolinska Institute. The researchers showed "for the first time that the active training of the working memory brings about visible changes in the number of dopamine receptors in the human brain. The study, which is published in the journal Science, was conducted with the help of PET scanning and provides deeper insight into the complex interplay between cognition and the brain's biological structure ".
What was so exciting about this research was the finding that our mental activity and thinking process can effect the brain's biochemistry. Brain biochemistry does not just underpin our cognitive processes and mental activity. There is a two way street between biochemistry in the brain and our mental activity and thinking processes.
The neurotransmitter dopamine is very important for many of the brain's functions. Disruption to the dopamine system can impair working memory, interrupt short-term memory, and impair cognitive thought processes.
This research is very encouraging for people with cognitive impairments. This research may help people with diagnoses such as ADHD or schizophrenia. The research suggest that cognitive stimulation and retraining may help people with cognitive impairments associated with strokes, some illnesses and normal aging.
The research also provides greater evidence for actively stimulating one's mind through cognitive exercises and learning new experiences in order to not only maintain brain functions, but even to increase the brain's ability to function. Increasing mental fitness can increase brain fitness.
If you can drive a car, you have the ability to have a good self-concept and form satisfying and sensitive relationships!
We automatically goes through many psychological processes effortlessly when it comes to understanding the importance of fuel and reading signals when it comes to driving a car. It may surprise you how many psychological processes we successfully apply in interpreting what our car's need.
Unfortunately, we fail to effortlessly apply these same psychological processes in regard to our self-concepts and our relationships.
I am going to present these five psychological processes that we automatically apply in driving, but, oftentimes, fail to use regarding our self-concept and our relationships. As a result are self-concept are, oftentimes, parked on empty and our relationship's stall.
KNOWLEDGE is the first psychological process necessary for successfully driving a car. We must know:
A vehicle needs fuel, oil, grease and water to function.
We know our cars can be anywhere between empty and full.
We know it is normal for a car to range from empty to full.
A vehicle has signals to make sure our cars run.
We have to give our cars fuel oil, grease and water when the signal approaches empty.
Do we really know? Do we really know:
People have wants, needs and actions that they must act upon to take care of themselves.
Do you really know what your wants, needs and actions are necessary to do to take care of you?
Do you really know that your significant others have wants, needs and actions they need to satisfy in order to take care of themselves?
Do you really know that it is normal for you and your significant others to range from empty to full?
Do you really know that you and your significant others will have signals of emptiness, when you or your significant others are empty?
Do you really know that it is normal for you and your significant others to have signals of emptiness when you or your significant others are empty?
Do you really know that is necessary for you to respond to your and your significant other's wants, needs and actions self-care?
KNOWLEDGE: The first step to having a full self-concept, is to realize that you have wants, needs and must take actions to take care of yourself. The first step to having satisfying and sensitive interpersonal relationships is to understand the importance of other people's wants, needs and self-determination regarding taking care of themselves. It is important to know that wants, needs and self-determination are normal!
The second step to having a full self-concept, is to realize that you will have signals when you are empty or approaching empty. The second step for having satisfying and sensitive interpersonal relationships is to understand that your significant others will have signals of emptiness, when they are empty. Signals of emptiness again are normal.
The third step is to realize that actions are necessary when you or your significant other's are experiencing emptiness and there are signals of emptiness. Actions will be necessary to have a full self-concept. Fulfilling actions will be necessary once we realize our significant other has unmet wants, needs or needs to engage in this self-actualizing behavior.
Remember, We Live within the Self-Concepts and Relationships Created by Our Choices!
The cardinal principle from a mental fitness perspective is to take care of yourself. When it comes to your credit, it is mandatory to actively and courageously manage your credit cards. I read a very interesting book written by Kevin Trudeau. He entitled his book, "Debt Cures 'They' Don't Want You to Know about".
In this interesting book he talks about the credit card companies and how we can no longer trust them to do what is fair for us. He emphasized how credit card companies raise interest rates, engage in unfair accounting practices and charge exuberant fees. In this book he shares information that is important for people who want to reduce and sometimes even eliminate their credit card debt. I highly recommend this book if you are being overwhelmed with credit card debt.
From a mental fitness perspective, it is always important to obtain information that can improve the quality of our lives. In order to cope with the stresses in our life such as credit card debt, it is important to seek information that can assist us in taking care of ourselves. Courageously there are things that you can do regarding your credit card debt and other aspects of your life.
In today's society is becoming much more important to take care of yourself!