There's a Mental Fitness Solution for Every Problem!
If you're fit in your head, you can deal with anything!
The main purpose of the mental fitness program and coaching is to take you where you can't get by yourself!
New Year's Eve is approaching.Soon it will be time for your 2009 Resolutions.
Some of you are smokers and may be tempted to make a resolution to stop smoking. Trusted. MD presented 40 medical reasons for not smoking. I urge you to read this article.
Choose health in 2009! Make your New Year's Resolution positive and Choose Health and the benefits of good health rather than negatively focusing on stopping smoking.
Let me explain what I mean. Let us look at how we normally learn.
Our teachers taught us to read so we could have the benefits of reading for the rest of our lives. Our teachers did not motivate us by telling us we had to stop being illiterate. Through our school we were not motivated to stop something. We were motivated to learn something that would benefit us for the rest of our lives.
Through the next year let us learn to make good decisions in order to have good health and the benefits of good health.
"Cogito ergo sum" according to Wikipedia has been the foundation of Western philosophy. It also is the foundation of many psychological theories. René Descartes is the philosopher, who is given credit for this statement.
"I Think, Therefore I Am" is a phrase used to establish our existence. According to Wikipedia:
"The simple meaning of the phrase is that if someone is wondering whether or not he exists, that is in and of itself proof that he does exist".
"I Think, Therefore I Am" is misquoted as "I Doubt, I Think, Therefore I Am". This statement is very interesting, because doubting as well as thinking determines our existence.
These quotations also apply in the field of psychology. "I Think, Therefore I Am" not only determines our existence, it also determines our quality of life.
Our thinking determines our feelings.
Our thinking and feelings determine our behavior:
Our thinking, feelings and behavior determine how we relate.
Our thinking, feeling, behavior and relating determines our activities.
Our thinking, feeling, behavior, and relating and activities determine our external circumstances.
Therefore, it is safe to conclude that are thinking will determine the quality of our life.
In psychology, it is also true that "I doubt, I think, therefore I am". Doubts, insecurities, anxieties, fears, disappointments and depression are just some of the factors that can determine our thinking, if we let them. All of these negative factors well powerfully determine our thoughts, feelings, behavior, relating, activities, external circumstances and health.
It is important to be conscious of what we think, because our thinking is so powerful. Today become aware and become very clear how important your doubts or thoughts are in determining the quality of your life.
Remember, We Live within the Environment Created by Our Choices!
Yesterday I had the opportunity to talk to more than one client about acceptance. The first client was struggling with depression and anger precipitated by his loss of health. For him the change in his health "was not okay"!
Another one of my clients has had a life repeatedly punctured by death. During her adolescent years, her brother committed suicide. Her husband was killed in an accident. She has recently gone through a divorce. Of all these losses, the loss of her brother has been the most difficult to accept. For her these deaths "were not okay".
Acceptance is learning how to turn "what is not okay" into "it is okay". Acceptance is a long process, not a superficial, fleeting thought.
Death is probably one of the most difficult events in our lives to accept. Especially the unexpected death or the death of a young, healthy child or adolescent. It is extremely difficult to accept the suicidal death of a loved one. Even the death of a loved, older person is difficult to accept.
It is hard to accept the harsh reality of death at the time of the death. At that time, it is often impossible to accept. Every part of us shouts out "it is not okay". Sometimes we are in denial. Sometimes we are angry, depressed, confused and lost. We blame ourselves and wish we would have done more. We must push away guilt, but it still lingers.
Much has been written about the stages of grief. The last stage is acceptance. But you might ask, what is acceptance? A simple way of knowing acceptance is to think and feel "it is okay".
My client who had lost her brother, believes she has accepted his death. She has accepted her brother's death death, although the reality of death never really leaves for very long.
She was stunned, when I asked her if her brother's death was okay. Sure although she believes she has accepted her brother's death, she couldn't say "it is okay". She needs to think about whether she can say "it is okay" that her brother died. She really needs to think about whether "it is okay" that he died by killing himself.
Acceptance and serenity, which are generated by progressing through the steps of grief, can lead us to say "it is okay", when we have lost a loved one no matter what the circumstances are. "It is okay" does not minimize the importance of the deceased person to us. Rather it signifies our acceptance of the reality of death and our freedom from painful emotions and guilt associated with loss.
Consider the goal of being able to say "it is okay", when confronted with death and any significant loss. "It is okay "is not giving in and being weak. Quite the contrary, we are strong when we can accept the painful reality of death and set a goal to live our life to the fullest.
It does not matter that the nature of the losses. It could be the losses associated with aging, illness, unemployment, divorce or retirement. We must learn to turn "it is not okay" to "it is okay"! We must realize that acceptance is the beginning of life and of growth.
Remember, We Live Within the Environment Created by Our Choices and Our Thoughts!
His college-age son recently attempted suicide. Her daughter has made numerous bad decisions and currently is in a dead-end relationship. Her daughter repeatedly asks for money and never manages her money well.
On September 16, 2007 I wrote this post at the North Star Mental Fitness Blog. As I read it again, I realize that it is very pertinent and relevant to today's economic climate. Therefore, I chose to publish it again.
"Nothing is as good as it seems. Nothing is as bad as it seems. Reality is somewhere in between." Lou Holtz made this statement in talking about Notre Dame's dismal start to the 2007 season.
There is no doubt that Notre Dame has played poorly this year. Lou Holtz is a veteran coach. What a wonderful message to give to a struggling team. "Nothing is as bad as it seems" is a message of hope and encouragement.
Too often we engage in catastrophic thinking. Life sometime seems so overwhelming. We struggle to cope with the recurring stresses in our lives. We feel stuck in circumstances that seem overbearing. We tried everything and nothing seems to work. We feel defeated. Personality conflicts endure. Misunderstandings and insensitivities abound. Losses in life accumulate. Maybe it's a job loss or declining health. Maybe it's a death of someone close to you. Maybe it's an illness of a child or family member. Maybe its financial or spiritual. Maybe it's called midlife crisis, divorce, bankruptcy or an illness.
We are convinced it's as bad as it seems.
Last week almost everyone was convinced that the University of Michigan's football team was as bad as it seemed. Yesterday, they won convincingly. They were led to victory by their mentally tough halfback, Michael Hart. Michael Hart was convinced that the University of Michigan football team was not as bad as it seemed and he promised a victory against Notre Dame.
Michael Hart's belief in his team, mental fitness, confidence, and courage turned the erroneous conclusion "it's as bad as it seems" into "its not as bad as it seems".
I hope it is reassuring for you to realize when you are stretched to the breaking point and emotionally devastated "it's not as bad as it's seems ". There will be solutions. There will be sufficient inner strength. There are people who will care and be there for you. There are solutions inside of yourself to solve your problems. Look inside of yourself rather than expecting others to change. Rally your resources and realize tomorrow's a different day.
What you do today, may work tomorrow as tomorrow is a different day. What you do tomorrow can be different than what you did today.
You can go from losing to winning even after you've had significant defeats and losses. You can remain confidence in yourself in spite of all of the problems in your life. Courageously think and work to turn your life around.
Remember, the Law of Attraction. How you think about your life creates your life. When life is at it's worse, your thinking doesn't have to be at it's worst. Think; then actively pursue with confidence and courage the way you want your life to be.
"Nothing Is As Bad As It Seems" is a hopeful and encouraging statement for us to consider, when we are about to lose all hope and motivation. Even regarding our current economy, might "Nothing Is As Bad As It Seems" be a better thought that a doomsday thought?
Remember, We Live within the Environment Created by Our Thoughts!